(I will not use their real names)
"Lynn" and "Dan" met in the 4th grade. Lynn said their last names were one vowel off... which meant they sat beside each other for the next 8 years. They were friends. Actually, she said they were best friends through 8th grade, until Dan got a girlfriend.
Fast forward to high school. Lynn had a long term boyfriend, and Dan had a new girlfriend. She said they would socialize in the same friend group - but still found it very hard to see him with another girl. Senior year they were in the same science class and were paired for lab, alphabetically. She laughed telling me and said it was the happiest moment of her life! Well, they found themselves single again about two months before prom. Dan said they should go together, as friends, and they did! Lynn said it really put a spark in their relationship and she always considered it their first real date. The prom was June 10, 1988
They left for college. Always found time to see each other during breaks and holidays. She got engaged. He got engaged. She married. Divorced. He married. Divorced. Twice. Somewhere in there, they lost touch. Then one fateful afternoon, standing on line in CVS in a state neither of them lived in, she heard his voice in the next aisle. The date was June 10, 2021.
They left CVS together that day and shared a 6 hour lunch. They have been together ever since. Dan asked Lynn to marry him on June 10, 2022. They will be married this year... any guesses??? Yes! June 10, 2023. Thirty-five years after their "first date". Amazing!
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Bride #1 "I know this may sound crazy but... I'm getting married in three weeks and I really don't like my gown!"
Bride #2 "I'm sure you never hear this and you're going to think I'm crazy, but I don't like my wedding gown!"
Bride #3 "I know this will sound crazy and I bet..." Let me interrupt you, I said. I bet you dont like your wedding gown??? "How did you know?"
Bridal Buyers Remorse.
I meet with many, many brides and hear very similar stories. Brides make dress shopping an "event". They come with moms, sisters, friends, bridal party, in-laws, aunts and cousins! They arrive with champagne, they bring photo props, take videos, post on Instagram and add stories to SnapChat. Then from the crowd comes those four dreaded words! "Are you saying Yes?!?!?!" The crowd holds it's breath and the bride folds under pressure. YES!?!?!? They laugh, cry, scream, make plans for a post shopping lunch and then the bride leaves with the gown of THEIR dreams. Not hers.
In all the craziness and confusion the brides vision of what she wants is lost. I have always said keep your circle small when dress shopping. Bring the people who know you best, understand your vision and support your choices. No "Negative Nancy's" or "Bitter Bettys" . (see previous blog lol)
There is nothing worse than dressing a bride and watching her face the crowd of guests asking them what THEY think, before she evens sees herself in the mirror. "What do you think great-aunt Phyllis?" I actually choked at her question. Well, great-aunt Phyllis said the bride should be wearing pure white... with sleeves... and no train because they are "pointless and just get in the way"... and her back should not be exposed. So, with that being said do you think this bride could ever have met the expectations of great-aunt Phyllis in a gown that wasn't styled in 1950?
Here's another favorite, said by a sister of the bride. "The back is nice, if you want your butt to look like that. I wouldn't wear that. Ever. But if you like it..." OH.
- That's a weird color though, right?
- You should wear mermaid fit
- You should wear a ballgown
- You need more sparkle...
NO! YOU SHOULD CHOOSE YOUR OWN GOWN!
Save yourself from Bridal Buyers Remorse. Keep the circle small Great Aunt Phyllis had her gown. You choose yours.
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I could not agree more Sara.
]]>The Absolute BEST part of my job, is witnessing women supporting eachother and sharing in eachothers JOY and HAPPINESS! I have worked with hundreds of brides. This means I have also worked with mothers, sisters, grandmothers, cousins, friends, in-laws and even a boss! On a few occasions I have had the pleasure of a father and a grandfather at the appointment, and an occasional husband to be. During these appointments I have enjoyed seeing the comradery of girlfriends, sometimes showing up in bridal themed shirts and toting bottles of champagne. Truly enjoying every moment. They're busy taking pictures for the bride, sharing them through text and laughing... it's the best. They are here not to celebrate the "engagement" anymore. They are here to celebrate the BRIDE and share in the joy of HER choosing a gown. I'm reminded daily, that the best attendants are the girls who support the brides decisions and fashion choices. The girls who are positive in demeanor and happy in spirit. Sweet. Supportive. Sensitive. Occasionaly we will meet a "Bitter Betty" and her energy sucks the joy right out of the room. Be a girls girl. Be the friend YOU would want to bring to YOUR bridal appointment! And to the bride...Leave Bitter Betty home ;)
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"How do you know which gown is the one? I love all the gowns!" Was it the color? The lace? The sparkle? The train? Can you sit in it?
Then came the best advice of the day from her 4 year old flowergirl, dressed in a pink tutu... "Can you twirl? Pick the twirly dress! A princess always twirls!"
So twirl she did...and THAT was her gown!
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Every now and then you meet a very special bride... and sometimes you meet her twice!
We first met when she bought her wedding gown from us almost ten years ago! Now we meet again as she is looking for a gown for her vow renewal. That in itself is amazing... but even more-so is her love story.
She said the road was not an easy one for them. There were difficulties. There was time spent apart. There was love lost and amazingly their love was found again. She literally lit up when she talked about him. How handsome he is. She gushed about her children and her grandchildren! She said how lucky she was. How lucky they were. She said what a blessing it was for them to find their way through the hard times and come out of it with a completely new understanding of what their love actually was. How much more they appreciated it. How blessed they were to find a new end to their beginning.
...and I feel lucky to have heard her story and to have met her. Twice. . Thank You Denise